you and i.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 7:25 AM

ok,

sorry had not been updating.

comp is down for the past days.

bodo nyer comp.

hahaa.

it went off when i was playing the comp.

haha.

and i guess i wont be repairing it.

and willl find time to go Nenek's house to play comp.

hehe.

and ya,

happy fasting to all of ya.(:

ok this computer is acting up again.

uggh.

i'll update when possible alryts.(:

Wednesday, September 20, 2006, 12:40 PM

Dunia aku sewaktu bersama dengan engkau agak luas.

Engkau adalah Anugerah Tuhan yang tidak ternilai buat diriku.

Biarpun cinta ini tidak pernah wujud dalam diri kau,

Namun,harapan itu tetap ada di dalam impian ku.

Aku menyayangi engkau lebih dari segalanya.

Aku mencintai engkau dengan setulus hati.

Mengenali engkau adalah mimpi dan kenangan yang terindah buat diriku.

Namun pemergian ku tidak dirancang.

Bila-bila sahaja nyawa ini akan hentikan nafasnya.

Biarpun aku tiada lagi di sisimu,

Aku harap engkau tidak akan pernah lupa akan diri ini,

Yang selalu mencintai mu.

Was it something I said

To make you turn away?

To make you walk out

and leave me cold

If I could just find a way,

To make it so that you were right here,

Right now .

Isnt a good story supposed to end

On happily ever after?

Just as wonderful as it began

And carry on for a few chapters

But, how come each time I open up

I can't seem to get past page one

I guess it's time for me to close up

And go back on the shelf because I'm done .

Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 1:56 PM

Prelims starts tomorrow.

and tmr Social Studies paper.

i just done wif my revisions.

and i am ready for tmr.

oh NO.

i hate Social Studies laa.

cos i sucks at inferencing.

and cross refer.

nvm,will give my ultimate best.

i really miss going to the movies.

crying at movies.

yeah,i do cry when i watched movies.

i dont care about the public lar(:

cause wheni cry,that means i appreciate the movie.

and yes the director did a good job.(:

haha.

and i miss MacDonalds.

i miss MacSpicy.

i stil remember the times when i talked about MacSpicy to Zul.

We ed to have McSpicyDouble.

but now dunt have.and yes we argue about it.

hahaa.

and he will always eat there everytime we went oud.

and i want to watched Korean Movies lar.

i want to cry my heart out.

ugggh!

haha.

and yes how i wished i can NOT study.

and how badly i want a boy friend who call me every night.

send me sweet messages.

haha.

yes,i missed having someone who cares about me.

ish,berangan jek aku.(:

anyways i sense smtng not right for haireel.

i dont know what is it.

or maybe its just a false feeling.

well,forget it.(:

, 8:39 AM

just came back home.
i bough only two books and a stupid assesment book.
haha.
had my late lunch wif parents at swensens.
yes,my family is all right now.
noone's leaving.so yeah,i felt really relieved.(:
ive given up hope on you.
aused you still cant get it into your thick skull.
ugh,forget i said that.
you haf many many many friends outside,
and im just someone you knew.
so yeah whatever.
im trying my best not to think about how bad i misses zul.
and trying to forget him like how i forget haireel.
and yes,
ive moved on from haireel cause i get to know zul.
but now,who will make me forget zul?
well,i know verry well he wont be calling me anymore.
so yeah,
whats the use of waiting when you know the truth.
as for now i need to think aout myself.
i have to be selfish at times.
i had enough of caring for friends and people around,
when they dunt even noticed you cared.
ive been thinking about how bad am i as a friend.
and taking all the blames.
but i know very well,
i am not appreciated.
so yeah from now on,
dont expect me to bother anymore.
im much more comfortable telling my problems wif strangers.
cause i wont know whats my limit to tell them about my problems.
cause friends get bored when listen to your problems.
ughh,enough of that.
i still have my lovely parents who i cant depend on.
and yes im super happy my family is all right now.
and yes,
dad is not living,which he says he will.
and everyone still thought i have a perfect family,but i dont.
heh,too much info,
ok daaa.(:

Monday, September 18, 2006, 6:15 AM

prelims are drawing near.
ok,it starts tomorrow lar.
and its like so fast lar deyy.
but i did studied.
hard.(:
i just hate science laa.
must remember all the facts.
and yes,not forgetting Social Studies.
ugggh.
enough of that.
im going book shopping wif mum and maman tmr.
maybe.
thats if mama is not lazy.
and yes,these are the pictures i took while studying.
with no make ups and pimples all over.hahaa.
happy viewing.

ugly,i know.

so shut up(:

Sunday, September 17, 2006, 1:06 PM

The main focus is my mum.

say whatever you want to.

but hell,she is beautiful.

so unlike me.(:

but i get my fair complexion from her,

and shes fairer than me lar.

hahaa.

and yyes,my bro is in the pic,acting "UGLY".

thats what he called it.(:

and yes i love my family.

and how i wished things havnt changed.

and i pray to Him not to change or grab away my happiness.

i am myself,unsure about the real situation.

and im not going to say anything,

and well,i just haf to wait and see.

i dont want this to affect my studies.

and my happiness for my future.

if the worst did happened,

i tell you,i will never be me.

ughh.well i shall shut up.

and as for now,i will just pray to Him.

and study damn hard to prove to my lovely parents.

, 12:46 PM

Ma,

i know how exactly how you're feeling.

i know you're trying to hide your feelings from me.

you trying your best to show you're strong.

and i know how weak you are.

you can still rely on me,

your only daughter.

if noones in the world loves you,

i assure you,i will be there.

for you,every time.

cause i love you whole heartedly.

and i know how much He loves you.

so,just hang on and be strong.

cause if you are,

i am going to.

and if you're not.

i will possibly give up too.

cause you're my role model.

my idol.

Rasidah,i love you.

i promise i'll be a good daughter,Mama.

ps: you dont have to know the real situaion to understand.

im putting down this cause i cant take it anymore.

Ya Allah,tabahkan hati ini.

Thursday, September 14, 2006, 2:21 PM

Sometimes i wonder to myself.
if giving hope to people is a good thing.
yes,peeople are telling me to move on.
but i just cant,you see.
and yes im super choosy whenever im choosing friends.
well,its for my own good.
honestly ive tried to move on.
but i failed.
and i did told the guy not to be in contact wif me cause i just cant,you see.
and i know i wont be loving him,cause im forcing myself to.
and i know i wont be happy and never will if i carry on wif him.
no its totally not because of Haireel.
i have not been thinking about him.
and yes,to hell with him.(:
ive moved on cause i know ive been stupid to wait and trust your words.
ok,enough of that.(:
and yes i did felt as if something was missing this past few weeks.
i af noone to tell my problems too,really.
yes,i do haf friends.
but at times,
i felt as if i dont belong wif them.
and yes me,not them.
we used to be very close.
late night calls,
hanging oud tgthr.
crying wif each other.
gossip about people.
everything,really.
i know its O level and all.
maybe its caused of that.
and yes,seriously,i cant be botheredwith these changes.
i just haf to do my O levels,find work or rot at home.
and lead a new life.
find a tertiary institute,
find a new bf.
a job and get married by the time im 22.
and i know mum and dad will be supportive of it.
they are the only ones who has been there for me.
except that on some issues,
i cant talk to them openly.
yes,im all alone.
and i wnt depend on friends anymore,
not as much as last time.
cause i know they will only be there,whenever they feel to.
so much for forever huh?
i mean really,look.
reflect on yourself,people.
have you been there for your friends?
do you stand up for your friends when people are looking down at her?
are you supportive of her decisions and her dreams?
and do you respond and give constructive comments when they share their thoughts?
NO,you dont.
thats the fact.
stop lying.
and stop pretending.
cause i know i dont too.
and i aint perfect.
but i dont give stupid promises like some people did.
no,im not pint pointing at anyone.
and not to my firends either.
just think.
dont you even care about her feelings at the end of the day?
do you even think about her everywhere you go?
ergh.
enough of that.
im just mad.
caused i miss my old girls.
really.
things are just wrong.
why now?
why must it happened at the first place?
my life sucks really.
how much worst can it get?
i am not pretty,fat,short,stupid.
everything negative la.
ugh,ignore me im just madd.
and i miss zul like bloody hell lar.

and yes im not ready to move on.

and yes i did love zul.

i had enough of people breaking my heart.

noone cares.

no,its not a mere statement.

its true.

but hell,its all over.

how nicee.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006, 8:38 AM

Ok,Mock Exams results have been given out.
ok,except POA,which i think i will also fail.
well,
as expected i failed my Combined Science.
and Maths.
but i did improved on my maths.
i think.hahaa.
i always pass Paper 1 but never Paper two.
cos there wasnt enough time for me to check my mistakes.
and yes,i do check(:
a gud girl i am.(:
so yah i think i get a D7 overall for Maths.
i want to get at least a B4. i know,cita cita tinggi.
hahaa.
and yes i passed my Humanities.
and i thought i failed cause i never liked Social Studies.(:
but it was only a border line pass,and it wasnt good enough.
i passed English!(:
i remembered the time where i failed my English and cried in class.
ish,paisey seyy.(:
heh,enough of results.
i still do cry thinking about you,boy.
and the feelings sucks,really.
for now,im going to gif my full atention to my studies.
Prelims next week.
oh godd help me.
and 48DAYS TO O LEVEL.
oh,sweet!
I want to pass my O level,badly lar.

Monday, September 11, 2006, 1:05 PM

HUDA'S RECEPTION

Ok,me and waty went to Huda's reception.
yes,Huda from anugerah skrin.(:
i was superr excited lar.
only 50 were invited.
and ya i love Huda.(:
other actors from Anugerah Skrin were there too.
too bad,Shah wasnt there.
but hell,Junaidi aderr kan??hahaa.
and im super happy to see Ciko.
yes,im a fan of his.
a die hard one.(:
Ok i shall not brag about this.
but im not lar.(:
im justt too excited.
and yar sadly Fauzie Laily wasnt there.:(
but Azmir was there.
haha.
kays i shall shut up.
and my dear waty,
i enjoy myself ytd.
and the times wif you.
Ok,now you should be calling me sweet.
haha.
Ok,here are the pictures.
and im soo happy ciko was there!
hahaa.

Me & them.=))

Waty and them.(:

Crazy uss.<3>

, 3:30 AM

ytd was super super funn.
hahaa.
eh waty ehh waty?
(:
the FUN pictures are wif her.
so yaa,i'll post it on the next entry.
meanwhile here are the pictures we took on my hp.(:

Saturday, September 09, 2006, 5:33 AM

OK,im so excited for tomorrow lar!!!!!

ehh waty eh watyy?!!!

shhh.hahaa.(:

hopefully tmr plans will go well.(:

iim super duper excited laaa.

Thursday, September 07, 2006, 12:28 AM

I just reached home,from hospital.
thank God,
nenek is now not in ICU.(:
i was super happy la.
cos i was super scared when i heard the auntie who admitted beside nenek,die early in the morning.
ishh.
nenek was better(:
so before that,wen to school.
practical science.
i so hate practical.
very troublesome lar.
esp the bunsen burner.
once durinng an exam,
i lit 8 matchsticks,
but still my bunsen burner is not successful.
hahaa.laugh all you want,cause i know im not the only one.(:
so everything practically went well.
after that,went to eastpoint.
and i rushed home cause i called mum to wait for me.
im super lazy to go to hosp by myself,eventho mum told me to take cab.
hahaa.
reached home,got ready.
went to haf late lunch wif mum and dad.
talked about career and stuffs.
i shall admit,mum and dad are successful people.
i know how rich they are,but still they dont like to show off like some malays do when they are super rich.
and i know how tons of money mum and dad invested on me.
heh,enough of that.
ok after all that went to hosp,
cousins were there,so ya it was super irritating.
i get pissed off .
and it was cousin Nurdiana Akalily birthday.
name nak glamour ajer.hahaa.
i get to watched Singapore Idol.
and yes im rooting for Hady Mirza.(:
and i shall admit ytd performance,Jasmine was good.
and so is jon.
but hey,
i wonder why Paul is still in?(:
well,i still misses zul.
a lot,actually.
and i dunt think he'll be reading this.
to be truth,
i still do cry thinking about you.
and sometimes i wonder why.
why must you change?
well,i did my part,and where's yours?
i know where is tand my dear zul,
im just a friend.
maybe not anymore to you.
but you forever will.
but i cant just pretend as if nothing happened.
cause you did changed my life.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006, 12:00 PM

WAN'S BDAE!<3

at the hosp; cousins

, 11:48 AM

Time passed so fast.

things changed.

just in a blink of an eye.

in the past month,

i lost a friend.

one who i loved.(:

well,its been over a month.

so ya,i did MY part.

and furthermore,

he started it al.

enogh aout that.

grandma has been admitted to hosp.

weeks ago.

shes been admitted to the icu last 3 days.

i was scared,afraid and i did cried.

i love her,alot.

but im all prepared,for the worst.

seeing relatives cry,it made me cry.

and mum did cry.

eversince myum know the truth about smtg,

our relationship and bonds are closer than ever.

despite the scoldings and wake up calls dad gave me.

mum and dad made me change.

and eversince then,

ive been closer to them.

O levels are drawing near,

and to be frank,

im real scared.

mock exams are over last week.

results are yet to be told.

i got to know i get a d7 for maths.

how bad ryt?

nanti o level mcm maner?

ish,enpugh about that.

last saturday went oud to celebrate Wan galah's bdae wif the girls.

and ya i came late,but hell,i did haf fun with them.

i'll post some pics later.(:

and the boat ride was fun and all.

esp the makan part at LAUPASAT eh girls?

hahaa

$111.50 siao.

so ya it was Wan's bdae,and mum gave free dinner to all of us.

the boat ride which Mas treated us,was hell fun.

and after all that went home.

Wan sent me home.

we walked all the way from Tamp inter till under my block.

and he sang hindustan songs.

hahaa.

i'll end my post here aytes.(:

take care lovelies,and do tagg.

Ya Allah,

selamatkan Nenek ku.

Panjangkan umurnya.

maafkan segala dosanya sepanjang hayatnya.

Nnenek,

i love you.(:

, 10:02 AM

Back Blogging

ok,
i shall admit i missed blogging.
so ya,here i am,continue to blog again.
about my daily life and so forth.
so ya,do link me up again.

Lots Of Love,
Nuyule.