you and i.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 11:06 PM

my friendster is starting to irritate me real bad. My friendster has always been in private profile. and i can only accept comments by my own approval. But now,everything is so different lar sey. eventho i have changed it I DONT KNOW GODDAMNHOW MANY TIMESSSS! i just made that account arh sey. and im fcking pissed. friendster is stupid. and those who are using it are not stupid,hokays? and at the media profile always have these worms and unfamiliar codes. Im really pissed. i cant send message to a friend now. cause they say i havnt verify my email. PUKKKKI KAPER SIA. aku hari2 bukak aku nyer email and friendster sak. friendster bodo. aku benci. mcm nak dleete,tapi aku sayang sbb baru bikin sak. grrrrrr. sorry,mind my language. i always curse in malay whenever im mad. and only god know how angry and frustrated i am. puki lar seysssss!

Labels: aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhH

, 12:09 PM

i just went back home. im tired. and the day was alright. better than ytd. i did have my weekly dosage of laughters form them(: and please God make national day a ocmplete Quorfaine outing. well, exclude Mas obviously.

ps: whatever for all those misses and i love yous for when you never want to take the initiative to find us? use your brain and think,i dont think you're that stupid.(: and i want DONUTSSSSS.(: ok bye!

, 3:57 AM

it's cold in here. and im getting sleepy. i woke up at 10. amazzingly, if not everyweekends i will wake up after 12. haha. i think it's bcause ytd i spend my whole pathetic day at home. i realised one thing, i used to be a lazy arsein blogging, but now,every now and then, I blog like there's no tmr. i think life is pretty boring. the same old routine everyday. i blog cause i have nothing better to do. and i know noone read, so i blog. its like, pathetic la i know. haha. i typed,and read it to myself. haha. but it will definetely be fun to read the archives 2 years later. haha. i decided to let go of dinn and haikal. i asked waty about it, and i know its very irritating. one is all good to me,but.... haha. dont wish to say. and the other one,is the other way round. no, im not going for just money. haha. im leaving both of them. and decided to be friends for the time being. dont worry peopl, im not emo nor sensitive. im jsut deciding and i havnt shed a tear for anyone just yet. well haikal maybe. hahah. but i like haikal more than i like dinn. heh. ok enuf said. im going to meet mai and waty at 3. i seriously got no money. haha. and i really think my blog only consists of haha and shut up. haha. seee. ok diam. bye!

Sunday, July 29, 2007, 1:50 PM

its been so long since i last posted an emo post. haha. im feeling bored lar today. ok come on let me try to be emo once more.(: dont mind me please.

first thing first, tell me if going out with two guys is wrong? tell me why must i focus on that other guy more than the other. ok confusing? haha. well let just put this two blardy buggers as dinn and haikal. haha. fine, i know dinn almost 3 years back. but i have never been serious with him. however, he's always there whenever i need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ears about my every problem. the funny thing is that he has never been close to any girl except for me. and he was my exbf sch mate. haha. and he is my old tutor's little bro.haha. it's funny how the world is so small,you see. and now i thing we are being so much closer. on the other hand, there's this guy who i know him thru online ages ago. haha.he was a nice person la. wellbefore i know about him la. but he can be polite and vulgar at times. he was never my taste. but well,i have to admit i fell for him. and he's another one. he was my senior brother. haha. and they look the same i tell you. haha. except haikal is shorter and cuter.haha. i never did liked my senior. i hated him and his gang. i dont wish to say who.haha. but for now, i seriously dont know where im heading to. both have thier flaws and their good side,of course. dinn has a brighter future with. haikal? im not sure. its not that im going for all these. but i tell you, my parents are very calculative when it comes to me habing a bf. i dont blame them. they want me to have a good future. i totally undestand that. who doesnt want a bright future right? i would love to. to me love for a man, it doesnt matter much as the love to my family and God. and i dont blardy care who am i going tobe with for my future. bcos i kow every time i fall in love, it wont last. know why? cause humans are always like that we fight without no reason and these make things complicated for both men and women. heh,enuf said.

, 8:52 AM

im all alone at home. everyone is out. funnily, i am always outside on saturdays. but not today.haha. i am really rotting. i think if i'm a corpse, i will be decomposed alr lar sey.hahaha. my handphone is not ringing or receiving any message. NOONE MISS ME MEH?haha. and msn is dead i think. haha. they all go out, then noone to chat with lar sey. i want to sleep,but i just woke up. i want to eat, but i just ate. i want to dance,but i find it ugly.hahaha. i want to die, but i dunt want to die a virgin.hahaha. nuyul,last warning ehy!haha. ok peoplesorry imm bored lar seyyyy! bye! im going to be dead real sooooooon! i need KFC. (:

Labels: akuuuu booooossssaaaaaan. grrrrr.

, 2:47 AM

THESE ARE SOME PEOPLE I MADE IN REPUBLIC POLY.

my class, W35G, well infact the whole of year 1s will be changing class in 3 weeks time.

awwww.

that's why i post this picture.(:

enuf said.(:

i went to meet dinn aft sch ytd.he has his project meeting before, that's why he's late.ytd went smoothly and all nice.until the time we went home.i dont know why,i kept quiet till he send me under my block.i was mad at him caused he was tired, and i told him to go back straightaway,

he doesnt want to.and he slept in the bus otw to my home la mind you.its not that i dont care, i want you to go rest.argh! guys can be super duper complicating.(:

Friday, July 27, 2007, 5:45 AM

im feeling much at ease now. i just had a long "cry myself to sleep" ytd night. which I have never done that for ages. i just realised Haikal can only treat me the way he is treating me right at this moment. so, im letting him go for real for now. i'm going to tell him i am not ready and i dont want us to break this lovely friendship either. and i hope he understand. He may make me laugh and cry at the same time. but those laughters still cant cover up for those words he used to hurt me. i knew this would come sooner or later caused I never liked your kind. enough said. i dont wished to hurt myself or him any further.

baybeats this weekend. going with the usually four,hopefully. i just want to get out from this mess. i want to meet the three of you and laugh like noone business,can? cause the only three which are always there despite our busy schedule. the only person who makes me feel better now is my little brother. whenever i cry, he will come to me and say, " kakak, why you cry?"

i will just smile at him and hugged him.(:im meeting dinn aft sch tmr. i hope to have a good evening with him. he always make me feel as if im the most important person. ok bye, i want to sleep back.

Thursday, July 26, 2007, 11:23 AM

I AM SUPER DUPER HAPPY.know why? cos my UT grade for my communication improved tremedously lar sey! I GOT A PATHETIC F for the first time. i was dissapointed by that laa. however the second one i got an A! WUHOOOO! happy and excited lke noone cares. haha. imagine la from F to A! HAHA,OK I KNOW,SHUT UP!(: pictures below. shut up ehy.(: im not going to sch tmr. i need a break. ty.(:

i know,ugly(:

long time ago. at the airport otw to BALI.(:
at BALI.
in class.
my hair black like i cannot say here.hahaha.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007, 5:03 AM

ytd watched Harry Poter with Dinn. He was a real gentleman lar sey. Not even close to Haikal. I had given up on Haikal. I just realised, beig single is much more better. Well, I told Haikal straight that he has never had the time for me. Futhermore, we were not even officially tgthr yet and his attitude just sucks okay? enough. i dont even wish to break our friendship. im gng to be single till God knows when. Im just not ready. So no point of me forcing myself being happy and waiting for him. say what you want to say. I date, i dont get hooked up. and date to me doesnt even involve feelings. its just a way to know someone better. and I have let haikal the oportunity, but i guess its just notgoing well for me and him. ok,enough said. i will not leak out details abut dinn just here. here is a public place. im just friends with him. He's not handsome,ugly infact.haha. but he's much more nicer. and i dont care la. i blog it when i am ready.not now when everyon thinks i go around dating for fun. everyone have different prespective,dont they? so respect me,ty(:

I saw zulfadli ytd when im otw home with Dinn. I saw someone staring me from far away, i couldnt be bothered la at first. But then when he passed the toilet,and when he's infront of me, he stare like he wants my attention la. and i just rased my eyebrwos and look away. Does it hurt like the way you used to do it to me?(: i bet it does. and now you're only an emo shit. gth with you la. and i texted waty straight away. this text that I send her made me laughed, and Dinn looked at me like one kindhaha,

" waty, aku nmpk zulfadly. he satred at me like he saw the prettiest woman on earth,ME! haha. no,really his face! "

i swear i laughed so hard. ok bye. im still in class. and i feel like gng home.(:

Sunday, July 22, 2007, 5:07 PM

look at the time! it alr two in the morning and im still awake. i was talking on the phone with mai and waty. then i dozed off arnd 1. i heard my hp rings and i dont know why i answered the call.heh. it was haikal lar sey. he's alive. (ok,nuyul mapek.) so,we talk and talk. he was nice,eventually. then he said he want to shower as he just reached home from work. he told me he will call me back.yawnss! he always shwer for hours sia. haha,while waiting for him i on my lappy. happy lar sia. i was sleeping sia,then now my eyes damn big like goldfish.haha. middle of the nite nuyul nonsense alr. haha. tmr meeting the girls for lunch. at 2 sia. hahaha.usually i woke up arnd that time. well, i have to sacrifice laaaa.haha.can haikal pick me up aft that? i really want to meet him and punch his face. dont worry,he's used to it. he mat rep mah bodo nyer mat rep. ok bye, im going to freindster hopping while waiting for haikal babi to call. haha. ok best,BYE!(:

, 12:50 PM

its frustrating even to think about you. know why? i know we're not officially tgther yet,but you have already given me hopes. and you assured me alr,you idiot. i feel like a fool to be with you and let people know your flaws. I dont wished to. But this is like the only place I vent everything at. i dont want my friends to get the wrong idea about you. im no perfect either. I also scream vulgarities at you whenever you did that to me. you may think i dont like you and dont care about you. I do,its just that I've learnt too much from my past to give all my concern and love to any guy. They should be blamed,not you. Because of them, you couldnt receive much of my love. You told me you broke up with your ex a year ago because you get sick and tired of her. Will you do that to me too? Then, might as well we end it here. There's no point continuing it then. can you stop showing me you care? well, yes i like you. but im so sure i wont share my future with you. my parents wil definitely disapprove of us. and you wouldnt even bother to change for the better.anyone can be as sweet as you. but i dont need that,dearest. haish. you just called me minutes ago, and hearing how tired and how hardworking you are makes my heart hurt. i know you're working hard, but that is never enough. by the end of the day,you will waste your money on your bike. God, give me an answer to this. I dont want any of us to get hurt later. I rather get hurt now.

Labels: honestly., i didnt want you to be faraway

, 9:54 AM

Ive changed my blogskin. ok now time for pictures. go stare at my ugly yet cute face.hahahaha. ok nurul diam(:

braddy.parker.shiera.wahteeeeeee.(:
ira n minah mng.haha.

nuyul and ira whose bf is a virgin.hahahaha. ok inside joke(:

muker! hahaha.

, 8:28 AM

ytd was a bad day. im lazy to blog it in paragraphs. so let's do smtng differnt,IN POINT FORMS. ok nuyul nonsense.(:

Basic Science lesson was a bore ytd. Well,it always have been.(:
I went to Woodlands inter after school with Sam. that irritating dog who keeps on calling me monyet.(:
i dozed off in 969, and the mat rep infront of me stared at my breasts. and i made a stupid and ugly face to turned him off. LIKE WTH sey jantan tuh!
I went home. Get ready to go to Lau Pa Sat.
I saw alip, mai's exbf there ytd.
I asked dad when I can have a bf, he said after i get hold of my degree cert! WTH sey! haha. but then mum said, you know when is the right time. cause i believed you're one grown up adult alr. then dad said, you can have one now; if he's a uni student. LOL!
We went to Mustafa Centre. I was frustrated with my parents. They dont want to buy me a new hp. its ot that im asking lar okay. my hp spoilt alr lar sia. it will die after i send off one pathetic msg! WTH!.
i really in need of a hp.
Haikal is dead. LOL.

Ok done. i really in need of hp. well i dont really use it but i need it to msg and call some people.
Tags replied;

fisah: i really hope helmy will recover soon and i hope that my prayers will be heard take care.
Nuyul: yar i hope so too. (: let us just pray hard for him okays?

Eja: chey chey... new bf seyy! Ehk... i saw me... lotsa me!! Hahakz...!!!
Nuyul: new and pathetic bf! LOL. i also saw me.hahahakz!(:

atikahsyarah: you ARE pretty luhh bontot.
nuyul : you are much more prettier lar kentod!(:

OK BYE!(:

Saturday, July 21, 2007, 11:39 AM

I am darn bored lar bodo. haha. im in class,and my fcking basic science lesson will be starting real soon. But i dont want it to start. Basic science is never BASIC,you know.(: i found this somewhr. I MISS CHaNGKAT CHANGI can? haha. bye!(: I think dearest is dead. haha. i didnt msged him or call him ytd. and neither did he. hoho. okay akubored.

Friday, July 20, 2007, 1:07 PM

it was my suckiest day of my life.thanks to alfy ehy,alfy!grrrr.he said he wants to drive me home,but i waited for him under the pahtetic hot sun and i was sweating.I hate waiting for people you know. I am always punctual. Then at last he said he have to rush home and couldnt fetch me. LIKE,ERM WTH! fine,wtvr lar ehy alfy.

So, its always like this. Whenever im single and miserable (chey!), noone will ever come close to me. But now that im partially attached with dearest, there's other guys who wants to know me better. It's forever like this. Not stating that I am pretty or I want to show off. But its just irritating! At times I jst wished I can forget dearest and know these much more better guys instead. Obviously they are much more better than dearest. If you know dearest situation, you guys wont prolly be friends with him. haha. ok wtvr. im washing my hands off dearest. I knew him for months, I have always been giving in to how he treated me in the past. not now please. I cant bear to be in that kind of relationship. Its funny how I dont want to end all this. I have been struggling with his attitude since the first day we met. I still remembered I almost cried when you left me going ome alone after our movie date. WHY? caused your bunch of ~~USELESS&GOOD FOR NOTHING~~ friends are much more important. I told you to get out of the gang, and you still say you're involved. YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE YOU KNOW,DEAREST! ksfjbdjhfewhj! im just mad at him for not htinking about HIS future. You can treat me like rubbish,i dont care. But you must know very well your parents love you. and please think about your future. AND FCKKING get out of the gang lar! im mad at him only because of that. I ve been patient enough. Once more you bring this matter up, I swear you're going to hate me,dearest(:

bloody hell, im not telling you people that my bf is a gangster, i even hate hes one. I just want to vvent my anger somewhere instead at him.(: UT TODAY WAS DARN DIFFICULT! AND TMR SCIENCE.GTH LAR SEYYYY.hahaha.

Thursday, July 19, 2007, 1:50 AM

at sch now.(: i'm bored lar seys! i dont like the way hiakal is treating me. he can be all nice WHENEVER HE WANTS TO. and the next moment shoot me with vulgarities. Dearest, you can do that when you're with your bunch of friends. But im a girl with feelings,mind you. He did that ytd, and i didnt reply his message,and no doubt,hes started to be nice again, and then ignore me and stating im just sensitive. Of course I am! You think im just like your other brothers who you can fcuk them upside down and then act as per normal ?uggh! Change for the better for us would you? When I say I dont care doesnt mean I dont mind. Ignore me for all you want, i dont care. anyways that was what you did me in the past. Belum mataye, da banyak hal kan! ergh! sorry for all the vulgars and the malay words, it is so not me right? (: im just releasing my feelings and thougts here. my blog,rmb?(:

I just want to see how far would you go for us. and that doesnt eman i dont care,do i?(:

Labels: and make me love you all over again.(:, its funny how you can make me laugh and cry

Tuesday, July 17, 2007, 11:24 AM

Isnt all these pictues nice?

i fell for it lar sey.

i love nice and good pictures.

because it speak a thousand words.(:

, 11:00 AM

i woke up today morning smiling to myself.

and said my prayers and thank God for my happiness.

simply because i received an sms from dearest stating this,

" syg, i msg you didnt reply so that means you are in lala land thinking of me alr! i miss you.hehe. and stop worrying, i know how to take care of myself on bike. i love you."

i swear it made my day.

usually i snooze my hp,but i re read his message all over again,and by the time, i end up smiling and rolling on bed still(:

day at school was alright.

and i replied his message,

" morning lazybum!(: sorry i dint answer your call last night. i was snoring away and dreaming of you. tc ok when you're on the bike otw to work. i miss you.(:"

i try not to be sweet.

well, seriously i try not to be so forgiving and lenient when it comes to relationship.

its been ages since i last fell for someone.

he poured out his feelings and his heart out last night.

i wasnt touched caused I set a line.

i dont know why.(:

i told him i dont mind any guys,except that he must remember that,

karma does happen.

I wont do bad things if he dont.

if you do dearest, i swear im going to make you hate me.

cause I know what kind of girlyou dislike.(:

im sleepy and tired,all thanks to dearest who talked to me on the phone till late night.

well it's part of my fault too cause when he told me to put down, i told him i dont want to.(:

im turning in early tonight.

its the last monday of the month!

can the weekend come faster?

i want it to be september soon,cause i want to rebond and highlight.

grrrr.but at times, i dont wish to caouse i like my curls.

im so fickle minded lar seyyyssss.(:

Labels: please do change.

Monday, July 16, 2007, 7:49 AM

I AM SUPER DUPER HAPPY.
(:
I AM NOT WITH HAIKAL, CAUSE WE DECIDED TO CHIIL FIRST.
i am grateful to God to have someone like him.
At least someone accept me despite my flaws.(:
we wanted to be together just now over the phone,
but let us make it official when we meet okay,dearest?
i~~love~~ like you.
yahooooo.(:
he still cares for me.

Labels: i like you. only you for now. noone else.(:

Sunday, July 15, 2007, 12:27 AM

i just reached home.look at the time.im so tired.my legs are hurting like ass.meet up with Mai, Ira & Waty.We proceed to hospital to meet Helmy.I swear i was scared.Firstly, we came without telling.And secondly,I hate the sight of hospitals. It just scares me.And lastly, I know Helmy wont be the same.Upon reaching, we saw Helmy and his mom slept. We were scared of course.Helmy looked totally different.I really pity him sey.We talked to his mother. I feel like crying, i jsut hate the sight of sickness and the pain Helmy is goiing thorugh. He cant even eat. We went out and we cried. Mai cried the hardest as Mai was his classmate. He was a totally different Helmy I last saw 6MONTHS AGO! its only been 6 to 7 mmonths but he look way so different. It was really really sad. We talked andwhenever I see Helmy smile, I feel like crying. He look so sick,and I really pity him. I will pray ahrd to God to make him recover soon. And we all know Helmy is a strong boy. Let him overcome this last obstacle. And mai promised to be his girlfriend when he recover. (:

Anyway, after that we went to town to follow Ira get smtng for Zul. I swear I was hyper today. And Ira go around telling the people in Town, to get free kisses and hugs from me. I swear I could kill that bitch. and everyone was looking at me.(: we headed to Pasir ris to someone pit. i dont even know anyone there.haha. ut we get nice and delicious food seys! (:

That be it for tonight. i wnt to slp like a pig.(:

Saturday, July 14, 2007, 3:23 PM

after a tiring and unpleasant day ytd, haikal end it by putting a smile on my face. We talked on the phone till very late in the morning. we talked nonesense. we cracked up stupid jokes. and laughed so loud like noone business. And my bro threw a pillow at me for laughing too loud. haha . and yes, he has a bike now. i have never like bikes. cause I think its just too dangerous. but he assure me to take care of himself and myself whenever we're on the bike. but i hope i will never have to ride any bike. (: im going out to meet my girls later,to visit helmy in hospital. and I like haikal ytd. haikal remembered the phrase, " sedia menanti", " you selalu ada kat dalam hati i","i tak kan carik perepmpuan lain,you lah satu-satunya dalam hati i", "i sayang you lebih dari you sayangkan i.", "i akan jaga diri you baik2 bila I bawak you naik motor i. I tak nak ape2 kan you", "you can stay under my umbrella-ella-ella.", "i keje keras untuk simpan duit kahwin kite." ,"ape? kepale otak you la sayang." That words came out frm his mouth that made me smile till now. he can be romantic but yet irritating at times. guys! haha. esp when he sang the umbrella song. I swear I could kill him then.(: I just hope he will take care of himself when he ride his bike. ok bye,i want to bath(:

, 1:27 PM

life has been the exact same thing for the past years hasnt it? I wonder if I should be happy or sad about it. But I rather be happy and contented. I still have my old girls who will be there for me whenever, what so ever. and I have a complete and a happy family. what more can I ask,right? Truthfully, the friends I met wherever, I wouldnt care less. cause I know they wont sstay. And prolly even if we happened to meet outside, we only exchange smiles. and these friends just come and go lor.

Anyways, I'm tired and worned out. I miss kissing and hugging my mom.(: im in gd terms with him again. well,i will just ignore the fact you belong to someone okay? I want to have a new life. Im sick of school. Its not a fun place i tell you. I still think my parents shd sent me to overseas to study. now i have to wait till i completed my diploma,then I shall go overseas to take a degree and further my studies. grrrrrrrrr.(:

Labels: KIDDOS? LOLOLOLOL(:

, 4:08 AM

WE ARE BUROK, BUT THATS THE WAY WE ACCEPT EACH OTHER AND HAVE FUN.
AND MY FRIENDS ARE MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL AND BETTER THAN YOURS.

, 3:39 AM

so hyprocrites does live in this world ehy.hahaha.i cant be bothered you see.i mean,stop being childish lar please. even waty said that you're a bunch of fcuktards who cant seem to grow up. you listen to your kind,who are the same as you; big head but no brain. PITY LAR SEY.hahaha. its funny how i did not get deeply affected at all. i told you, and you jolly well know that I CAN STILL CONTINUE MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE EVEN WITHOUT YOU.(: and please if you think you have wonderful friends, i have much more better ones. and i swear you will never make me give up.

enough of posting about that small children.(: who knows will know. who doesnt, dont bother to find out.hahaha. its atiq's birthday today. maybe meeting up tmr. and maybe go visit helmy in the hospital. Kah Hwee told me that he's notin ICU alr. so, thank god.(: and i think i wont be seeing the old helmy, caused hes too sick. awww.(: well,i 'll just pray the best for him. its basic science today. how nice kan? haha.(: its weekend realll sooooon. im going to sleep like a log at home and stuff myself with junkfoods. call me wtvr yo want, fat?haha. i am,i know where i stand. now you shd consider about finding yourself a mirror and reflect on yourself,on theinside please. and people i didnt cut or rebonded my hair. hahahaha. i took that only to see how i loook like. but its nice lar sey. if only i hav that hair. but i cant, caused my natural hair will be curly. like,jubs kan?(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATIQAH (:

Labels: some people should really reflect on themselves before they open up their bloody mouth.(:

Friday, July 13, 2007, 12:10 AM

my hair nice right?

not nice also nevermind.(:

im bored.

i want to sleep late today.

i feel like screaming out loud.

i dont know why.

listen to new boyz's new song, Semula Padaku.

if only the ex bf wil sing that to me.

because the lyrics are all true.

i broke his heart,