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Sunday, June 29, 2008, 1:09 PM


My Saturday was a blast. The one responsible for all that are my girlfriends and those two extra guys. Haha. We were supposed to meet at 530, but someone just have to fell asleep when it was 6! Haha. So yes, waited for Mai and then proceeded to Bugis. Saw Mamat over there. We then proceed to Bugis Street first to walk around before headed over to Arab Street.
We then proceeded to have our dinner at Zam Zam, and then to Sheesha. The place was nice and all, with great company of girlfriends and those 2 boys. We played the 'Police and Murderer' game. Was fun, watching each other doing dare and stuffs. We stayed till near to 11, and proceed back to MRT station. When there's Fardly, confirm my camera will be full of pictures. 143 pictures to be exact when I transferred all of them last night. Haha.
We met Waty over at Bugis platform, as she was from her work. After soooo loooong not meeting la kaaaan. I really miss all of us. But its nice you know, meeting those long lost girlfriends after so long of not meeting. If only, we were having our complete outing of eight of us. It would be nice kan girls?! Haha.
There's tons of pictures, I cant prolly put them one by one, so I made a collage. If any of you wants your individual pictures, please do ask on MSN eh. Haha.


















Favourite picture. :D


Friday, June 27, 2008, 7:46 PM


Its weekend babyyyyyyyyyyy! Happy or whaaaat.
Im going to meet my girls tomorrow and relax my body mind and soul. Chey, like real only. Nyehaha. Im feeling abit better though after those shits that I went through. But something just seems to stuck on my mind. Maybe what girlfriends said are true, it jsut takes time to forget about him. Well, love isnt always fair,aint it? Argh, fuck love. Haha.
I really need to motivate myself to do this and to do that. I need to be clever in prioritising my schedule. Ive been neglecting school, I admit. I wasnt in a good state of mind to think about that all. So yes, hopefully I be back on track and get those B grades back on track, cause Ive been seeing Cs and Ds. Making my grade look ugly. Haha. And UTs grades are wayyy much more uglier. Yes, I got one D already. Blame it on myself, cause I didnt study for my tests.
And I have yet to choose my elective module for next semester. Grrr. Maybe later on. Ok, enough about school already! :D
Sometimes, really parents know the best. I find it weird, when I was really sick last week, and after the break up with Ikin, Dad asked me, " Are you ok? Is anything the matter? You are sick I know, but I guess theres so many things on your mind. Isit school? Or other matters? You can always talk to us you know." How I wish, I can just cry and hug them and tell them everything. If only my parents were that open minded. Oh wells, I should be grateful for whatever they gave me.
At this point of time, I should may be meet other guys, find new friends to get over my heart ache, but as for now, I make a point to do less of that. I dont wish for my feelings to get meddle as for now. It hurts so deep, that only God knows. I know I deserved someone way much better than him, but now I just want to be free of the matter of the heart and feelings involved. Tell me the ways to mend a broken heart can? Nyehahahah.
Take care peopleeeeee! And have a nice weekend!

Thursday, June 26, 2008, 9:08 AM


Its funny how you told me stories. It just doesnt link, and I sense it's all just lies and pretend. Im not sure. But Im just sensing it this way. I dont care about your relationship with the ex boyfriend. I was very wary of what I post about what happened between all of us, because of that jerk. Not that Im not over it, just that, its funny how people are able to be proud of their shameful acts. I know very well that the ex boyfriend was a player and a flirt. I was the one who played with fire. But you cant blame me, I was blinded by his pretend love and his sweet words.
But Im not stupid enough to be blinded by his love and gave my body for him. Some of you may know who she is. No doubt she approached me in a nice way, we become so called friends. I read her blog entry, and some of the response from the online friends. they called her stupid and said it wasnt love that happened between you and the ex boyfriend.
I was quite puzzled knowing you got attached to the ex boyfriend just recently, infact after I was attached to him. But then on the phone you told me you're one month pregnant. Its funny how these two things doesnt make any sense. You cried to me on the phone and we talked online, but I always listen but never did trust you.
You may handle his account and tell the world he's yours. He told me many times too, to handle his account online, and tell the people out there that he's mine and Im his. But I didnt want to, cause I respect his private space. But look what happened to us, we end up not being together.
People may see you as a player, yes, indeed you are. But honestly, you did made me happy and over the moon when I was with you. Tell me how can I not fall and trust you, when you wont let me let go off my hands of you whenever we're outside, when you held my hands when you were eating, kissing me on my lips,forehead and cheeks every now and then when we're outside together, when I met your family, and when your family treat me nice and all, when you told me you will beat up every guy that stands in our way, when just everything. Yes, you acted it all out so well.
I was happy without doubt when I was with you. Those times together, when I thought we lasted forever. But a player will still be a player forever. Ive never regretted loving you at the point of time, caused you did made me felt good and loved at that moment. No, im not missing you. Its just that, Im trying to forget you, but this girl, your 'wife', is part of my friend now, and that your letter that you asked me keep hold of it, is still stuck at my wardrobe, those pictures we exchanged and we took, I have yet to put it away from me.
It feels so crazy, knowing you're doing this to just too many girls. I wonder whether when I was with you, it came across your mind that you say this, " I wouldnt want to hurt this girl, she's too nice, too precious, maybe I can love her for real." I wonder what was on your mind,boy.
Now, if it does happened you are the father of that girl's child, I just hope you changed for the better for the sake of the child and your family. I pity your family. I pity that unborn child,which is not sinful. Which doesnt know anything. To have liars, and players as his/her parents.
I hope a karma hit on you, and open up your eyes, and your mind.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 1:02 PM






















I have been terribly sick. The feeling of having sorethroat, and coughing blood is not fun at all. Now I have fear everytime I cough, cause the blood I saw yesterday morning freaks me out. Its scary, I thought I was going to die. It doesnt sound so scary, but if you saw that blood that lasted for 30 minutes, I thought everything ends there.
I do have a confession to make, but I guess no, nobody should know about it, only that someone. My situation is much more worst than you can imagine. I suffered this way because of one thing, guys. No, not because of that bloody asshole Ikin, but guys in general. Last night was like the downfall of all of it. A secret I have told noone. But only to you, cause I was so stressed up yesterday. I cried till I fell asleep. I had swollen eyes in the morning. I gave school a miss. I took 4 pills to make myself go back to sleep and so that I wont bother thinking about what's on my mind. I may not be like what I sound when Im outside. Really, I can crack stupid jokes, laugh and saying Im all alright. but the fact is I am not.
Honestly, Im tired of crying, making myself suffer this way. But the thought of it, make me so mad, that my mind think indecisively.
Im very much hurting over here. Im sick, and all I think about is to get better. But I cant bring myself to. I kept blaming myself. Afterall, I brought all this upon myself, didnt I? I wonder why some people can be happy out there, while I cant. Why cant I have someone who care for me so much. Argh, seriously this is driving me crazy. Enough said, Im off to get more sleep, so I wont have to think about this.





Sunday, June 22, 2008, 9:17 AM


I had fun with girlfriends yesterday. And yes yesterday was kinda dramatic day to start with. I went over to that bastard house and asked for my mp4 back. It was super dramatic I tell you. I was too mad and frustrated over the lies and him trying to run away from me. Not about how he cheat me over other girls, THAT I dont give a fuck. Haha. I was literally arguing and screaming at him IN his house. I know it wasnt nice, but I didnt expected it too that I will react this way.
I had no intentions of troubling his family, but he brought this upon himself. So yes we talked to him, and he gave some excuses which I dont bother listening. Mai was there being my elder sister. Haha. So yea, at last I got my MP4 back. Happy kapeeeeeee. I tell you, super happy. Luckily that thing is not lost. And this was the last conversation we had.
" I want to apologise to you, I didnt expected things to happen this way either. I swear I didnt try to run away from you. Its just that my cell wasnt with me, those girls messaging you, it wasnt me, I was not with them. I dont have the intention to steal your MP4 or whatever, you yourself know where I stay, who my family is. I regret, my parents really like you, but Im the one who mess things up."
I replied him back, " Its not that I want to come here all the way from Tampines, I tried calling, but you didnt answer or what. I came here to ask back for my thing, I dont want to trouble your family or whatsoever, I dont fucking care how many girls you had or whatsoever. Im just here to get my MP4 back, and after that we're nothing. Pretend we dont know each other. The end."
He replied, " I know I got many many other girl friends, Im sorry." Ok this part I literally roll my eyes and said, " I dont want to know, and I dont fucking care" Haha. He was actually paiseh la about that. Nyehahaha.
And lastly he said, " I hope after what happened, you can still treat me as your friend. But its all up to you."
Most of the time I was literally rolling my eyes, and I can see he was frustrated. Nyehahaha. And he can even sweet talked to me la siaaaaa. Haha. I was there, turning my back at him and making faces to Mai. And we laughed to each other.
AND THANKS ALOT TO MAI, SHIERA AND ZUL FOR ACCOMPANYING ME OVER TO WOODLANDS TO FIND THAT FUCKER. :D
So after all that drama, we went over to Bugis, and met Mas over there. Shiera collected her make over pictures, and then walked for awhile. Proceeded to Suntec, and then to Marina. We were actually starving ourselves from morning. So then we proceed to Lau Pa Sat to makaaaaan. Smoked for awhile, and then proceed back to Tampines, sat for awhile over there, and head back home after that. It was nearly midnight by then. I had so much fun today, especially the morning part. And I was soo hyper till at night. And while I was talking to a friend on the phone, he was saying that he havnt seen me that hyper and noisy. Cause I was superrr irritatingggg to him. :D
And yes, indeed everything is back to normal. No stress already horrrr. So now at school can do my work better, which I have been neglecting. Nyehahaha.




















The flowers are faded now, along with your letters
They will never see the light of day, cause I'll never take them out
There's no turning back, it's for the better
Baby I deserve more then empty words and promises
I believed every thing you said, and I gave you the best I had


So take a bow
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part and
Like a star you played it so well
So take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love
All you gave me was pretend

So now
Take a bow

The future's about to change, before you know it,
The curtain closes, take a look around,
There's no one in the crowd, I'm throwing away the pain, And you should know that your performance made me strong enough

Well it must have been slight of hand, 'cause I still can't understand
Why I could never see, just what a fool believes
But the lies they start to show, tell me how does it feel to know, right now
That I wont be around, so baby before you burn out
It has been quite a long post for now. I just hope my cough will get better soon! And thank you dearest blogger mates for the concern, you guys are very sweet you know. Saye sungguh touched you knowwww. I love you sweethearts!


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The name is ♥иυyυL αιshαh ραяkεr. Legally eighteen this coming December.
Definitely not your average girl next door. Im very messy, unorganized and farts in public.
I'm enjoying life for now. Not with alchohols and drugs, but with great company of friends. Im very vain, I need hours to doll up, just to make myself look presentable. Im just a girl, mind you.
And before you open you mouth to bitch and stating unrealistic myths about me, I think you should take a mirror and do a thorough self reflection, thank you.
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