Sometimes i wonder to myself.
if giving hope to people is a good thing.
yes,peeople are telling me to move on.
but i just cant,you see.
and yes im super choosy whenever im choosing friends.
well,its for my own good.
honestly ive tried to move on.
but i failed.
and i did told the guy not to be in contact wif me cause i just cant,you see.
and i know i wont be loving him,cause im forcing myself to.
and i know i wont be happy and never will if i carry on wif him.
no its totally not because of Haireel.
i have not been thinking about him.
and yes,to hell with him.(:
ive moved on cause i know ive been stupid to wait and trust your words.
ok,enough of that.(:
and yes i did felt as if something was missing this past few weeks.
i af noone to tell my problems too,really.
yes,i do haf friends.
but at times,
i felt as if i dont belong wif them.
and yes me,not them.
we used to be very close.
late night calls,
hanging oud tgthr.
crying wif each other.
gossip about people.
everything,really.
i know its O level and all.
maybe its caused of that.
and yes,seriously,i cant be botheredwith these changes.
i just haf to do my O levels,find work or rot at home.
and lead a new life.
find a tertiary institute,
find a new bf.
a job and get married by the time im 22.
and i know mum and dad will be supportive of it.
they are the only ones who has been there for me.
except that on some issues,
i cant talk to them openly.
yes,im all alone.
and i wnt depend on friends anymore,
not as much as last time.
cause i know they will only be there,whenever they feel to.
so much for forever huh?
i mean really,look.
reflect on yourself,people.
have you been there for your friends?
do you stand up for your friends when people are looking down at her?
are you supportive of her decisions and her dreams?
and do you respond and give constructive comments when they share their thoughts?
NO,you dont.
thats the fact.
stop lying.
and stop pretending.
cause i know i dont too.
and i aint perfect.
but i dont give stupid promises like some people did.
no,im not pint pointing at anyone.
and not to my firends either.
just think.
dont you even care about her feelings at the end of the day?
do you even think about her everywhere you go?
ergh.
enough of that.
im just mad.
caused i miss my old girls.
really.
things are just wrong.
why now?
why must it happened at the first place?
my life sucks really.
how much worst can it get?
i am not pretty,fat,short,stupid.
everything negative la.
ugh,ignore me im just madd.
and i miss zul like bloody hell lar.
and yes im not ready to move on.
and yes i did love zul.
i had enough of people breaking my heart.
noone cares.
no,its not a mere statement.
its true.
but hell,its all over.
how nicee.
