Thursday, April 03, 2008, 1:04 PM
I feel like shit right now. I am crying, with no reasons. I just feel empty, sad and lonely. Honestly, I am missing Haikal. Cause I saw a replica of him with a girl just now. And it struck me immediately that maybe I should set my ego aside, and try being nice to him and some other guys. He may be the one I always fought with, but I admit I loved him once in that point of time we used to be so close together. But everything changed eversince he realised and asked me why this and why that. At least in the past, I know that someone love me. But now, eventhough with many guys I am contacting with, I need assurance. Argh, this feel like shit okaaay.Umpteen times I said this, but I really want a serious relationship. Seeing friends and acquaintances with their darlings cling on to them, make me envy their life. I dont wish to get a guy who is only nice to me when they are horny. Really, I think guys are the nicest when they are horny. Fcuk lar kan. Beside all that, Im very worried for bestfriend. These few days he has always been so high during work, and going home high on the road, and its not safe for him. He even got into an accident last 2 days. And he nearly got killed. I dislike him doing that, but I can only say and forced him not to be like his past. And he even said to me, "You, try calling me if after 3 days you havent heard from me. Who knows I'l be dead by then." Yes, whatever kan. I told him, its really up to him. He ride his bike thrice already, and those three times, he dont remember where he was going. I am just scared for him. I can only pray to God for his safety. And as for now, I think I wil be alright if I ave those crying session later. Im going to bother bestfriend about my problems. Nyehahaha. Biar aku nangis, biar aku burok, biar aku complain and whine pat dier. biar dier boring dengan aku. Haha. Im calling him right after this, and sleep after that. I really wish that tomorrow will be a brighter and better day for me and you. I really really want to hear from you. Or maybe should I make the first step? Haisss, I dont know.
I feel like shit right now. I am crying, with no reasons. I just feel empty, sad and lonely. Honestly, I am missing Haikal. Cause I saw a replica of him with a girl just now. And it struck me immediately that maybe I should set my ego aside, and try being nice to him and some other guys. He may be the one I always fought with, but I admit I loved him once in that point of time we used to be so close together. But everything changed eversince he realised and asked me why this and why that. At least in the past, I know that someone love me. But now, eventhough with many guys I am contacting with, I need assurance. Argh, this feel like shit okaaay.