you and i.

Friday, May 30, 2008, 5:29 PM

Ive always hate this kinda feeling. Where I get intimately close with the opposite sex, and I know the next day we are nothing but just friends. No, it not love. Well I know how to handle it, play my cards well, but like any other girl, every time the day ends, I will reflect on myself asking questions like, " When am I going to settle down?", " When will someone be close, and love me for who I am, and not only just for show?"

I hate this feeling now cause it keeps running through my mind. It feel good while it lasted. But I dont want that, I want more than that. I want someone who can be there and look at my morning face and overlook all the obvious flaws I have instead.

Ok enough, Im just upset. Feeling shitty all inside and all. If you understand.

Anyways on a brighter note, ITS HOLIDAY BABYYYYYY! 2 WEEKS ONLY! BUT WHO CARES,IM HAVING HOLIDAYYYSSSS. =)

, 9:07 AM

I shall apologise for the lack of updates for this week. Been quite a busy week for me and the family. But everything is all good. I love everything that revolves around me eventhough the past few weeks Ive been rather down over what happened to me and that one man biatch. Enough said, I guess everything happened for a reason, and theres always a reason behind every shit that occurred.

Met Waty over at my place on Wednesday and proceed to Simei to get something from her house and then proceed back to Tampines Central to pay for her bills. Walked for awhile, and then Daddy called, asking me to go to SGH as Granny as admitted to the hospital. Met cousin Pian and Dayah. We were basically talking nonsense and laughing our ass off with talking to my Mum. It's a nice feeling, to have this kind of conversation with cousins and Mum.

And on Thursday, which is yesterday, went to the movies with a friend. Watched Chronicles OF Narnia or whatever shit the name is.

And today after school, prolly be going to celebrate this bugger birthday. Yes, my brother. I only bought for him a Famous Amos cookie. Actually not me, it was Mum. But she told me to collect it and pretend I gave it to him. Hahaa. So yes,this is my brother. I still argue with him every now and then, but we still share secrets whenever we do stupid stuffs like watching porn together and laugh our as off, sharing of porn, sharing of ciggies, smoking at home when noone is around, and whenever he has a hot friend, I will ALWAYS ask about them. Haha. But, still he's the most irritating one everrr. But, hes afraid of me. Nyehahhaha.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY,ASSHOLE! :)
and please do study hard for your Ns after not being in school for months. Just achieve good points so that you will get into Nitec in a good course. Haha. Kau pelan2 kayuh eh babi! Hahahaa.

Monday, May 26, 2008, 8:30 PM

I think this entry is a tad too late since its already a whole new week. Oh heck, I was too lazy to update and upload all the pictures. So yea, went to Town with girlfriends. Nothing much, had our dinner over at Far East, played pool, and then the lepak session over at Starbucks till late. Reached home around midnight. And I was praying I will bump into you, but I guess its just not fated to be.

School has been stressing, really. What the fuckk. And I think I will fail all my Understanding Tests. What's new about that, right? Im looking forward for the holidays though. So that I can have sufficient rest and enjoy with my girlfriends. =)

And we started to play Paparazzi along Orchard Road. Haha.

We were really fighting, and she really hit me.

Friday, May 23, 2008, 9:50 PM

It's saddening when everyone around you judge you by your looks. Come on, I didnt ask to be born with so many flaws and imperfection. But why must the world be cruel to people. Fuck it with first impression counts. But all that matters in the end is the inner side. I have always been conscious with my every move. Im a big girl, I know. But Im just like any other girl, I have feelings, and I want to be treated right.

Walking down the roadside, cant help but trying to make myself look small and not to make a fool out of myself. It's hard, difficult. And to see those lovebirds holding hands. What can I do? Just to imagine, and fantasize. Nothing much huh. Just because other girls who are just how many inches smaller than me, they get everything. Eventhough how ugly their look is, other than that, eventhough how horrendous their attitude is, people still overlook their obvious flaws.

And how the pretty girls only talk to their standard kind. And to pin down ugly girls. Sometimes, human nature is just very amusing.

I was never born pretty or have everything in this world. But I slowly see and learnt from experience. That is where I am now. I may never be better than some of you, but definitely I have a better heart. And I wont let you step on my head just like that. You may hate me, just because, you cant win. Its funny how people dislike me for just how I look at them. You know who you are.

Till then sweethearts. =)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 12:20 PM

My Vesak Day was spend fruitfully with the family. We went to Parkway to shop. But unfortunately, the things that were up on sale didnt caught my eyes. I only bought 4 new tops, one bottoms and one foot wear. I wanted to buy an Adidas slipper, but I can just seem to find one which is appealing to me. And I wanted to buy a new watch, but Ive forgotten about it. Shit. So I just have to wait for how many months more cause I rarely go out with the family, you see. Haha. Parents bought a new Samsung DVD player, its really pretty. And Im always the one finishing up my parent's money other than my other siblings. Nyehahaha.

We headed to LauPaSat to send som things to their shop. And then had dinner at Changi Point at Magic Wok, whatever the name is. Haha. I didnt eat much cause I wasnt that hungry. And the guy over there kept staring and looking at me. Being me, I can stare at the guys for gours, no really. And the guy wink and smile only. Haha, I was expression-less. Haha. Then I told Mama, "Am I pretty?" She replied, " You are, cause I am." Then I said, " Laki tuh aru wink kat orang. Haha." Mama gave me that whatever look. Haha.

Proceed back home. I knew I was going to fall sick, somehow. And the next day in the morning, in school I was sneezing non stop. Fcuk. And supposedly I have to attend a workshop today but I was too sick to get up from bed in the morning, so I decided to give it a miss. Going to see the doctor later on.

And I know it seems stupid, but Im always praying that I will see that guardian angel of mine again. My brothers said I fell sick because of him. Haha. But, really, everytime im in the bus, and everywhere I go, I just hope you will be there. Am I crazzzyyy or whattttt? =)

My little irritating brother. We ALWAYS argue and I always make him cry. =)

Monday, May 19, 2008, 9:12 AM

Pictures were from yesterday Mamat's wedding. It over at Yishun. Met with the girls at Tamp and then proceed there together. So yea, congrats to the newly weds, Shukry and Ayuni. =)

The cake cutting.

and the feeding from both sides.

And feeding his closest brothers. This is sweet,yknow. :)

The girls.

The guys, and yes the groom. Look at his idotic face. he;s always like that,anyways.

and again.

so, this is a whole bunch of us from the groom's side.

Quorfaine ladies.

us.

Look at the groom, the wedding has not ended, but he has changed his clothes. Haha.

And after that wedding, we head straight back to Tamp and it was an impromptu plan to watch movie. So yea, we bought our tickets first, and proceed home to change. It wasnt really a nice movie. We watched Congkak. Sound effect jer mau lebih! Haha. But it was all fun with my girls who try to cover their faces when the sound effect gets louder. Haha. And the guy behind us like commentator, bising and merepek nak mampos. Haha. But it was worth it, with those company I was around with.
And the highlight of the day was when I was going back home. That boy really made my knees goes weak. I swear I was stupid not to act like how I was supposed to. And boy, I think you're really my guardian angel. I want to meet you,again. Really I do. Those stares and smiles you gave, it stuck in my head and I cant sleep, and everything I did, I think about you. How cliche it seems, but Ive never felt this way. Straight away I called and whined and tell everything to my girls on the phone. Yes,Im that excited over bumping into you. I hope we meet again. I really do. =)
So, yea that's how my weekend goes. It was worth it. Definitely is.

Labels: guardian angel., i want to meet you again