Nothing new, and I still dont think I learnt from the pitfall I got myself into years ago.Im in a state of dilemma right now. Im left with two choices, to either choose one, or neglect both. Oh God.
Ive been in the singlehood for way too long. And the only thing that I am longing is to have someone who treat me like a gem. Yes, its true what you said that I am an easy victim of this silly game called love. I fall for people easily. On the other hand I have someone who used to treat me nice before we get close, all those sweet messages, sweet short phone calls and saying the cliche 'i miss yous' and et cetera. But things changed after a while. Weird as it seems, but I think its just human nature to not cherish what it have till its gone. Now I don't seem to see all that coming. And you are not the boyfriend material type. Whenever I was down, all you did was to say, 'I am not going to disturb you. Call me when you're ok.' I don't want that. I want you to talk to me, to stay close with me, to kiss me on the forehead every now and then. I don't want you to leave me alone thinking about those negative thoughts running through my mind.
You always leave me hanging here thinking whether you are a chance not to be seize.
But on the other hand, there's this one soul come out of nowhere, and is treating me the way I like to be treated. He has been telling me things that no guy has ever told me. Funny how it seems, but he does know what I yearn and what does my heart desire and am missing these past few years. It feel awkward, having you know me in and out, while, we only met. We seems so close, yet so far. You taught me a new thing about love, you gave me the reasons to smile and to look at love at a whole new perspective again. You told me things I thought were just some cliche stuffs the opposite sex said before you made me open up my heart and my eyes. But letting you leaves me a big question mark in my head. I just thought you are one o the 'come and go' kinda guy. But you stayed here despite everything I did, despite you knowing I'm trying to shoo you away from me. Like I said, you know my every doings and whatever my intentions are. It may seems nice, but its scary though. With you, I can smile, laugh and cry the exact same time, and knowing you be there for me despite everything that is going to come between what we got. But maybe its just too soon to say all these?
I am indeed very confused, and will still remain this way till I make my own decision. Its either I break one kind soul's heart, or I break my own. Like what you said, " This is love I'm giving you, and if it doesn't happen between us, not you who break my heart, but its me. Cause I was the one who wanted to love you. Not you,baby."
Feelings put into words feel stuck to the tip of my tongue.
When I try to explain,
Things just come out all wrong.
I think he cares,
but I think he doesn't.
Is that even possible,
to feel at the same moment.
I love him so much,
but all these mixed feelings are pulling me away.
What is happening?
Know that all I can do is live.
I can't fix my own faults - or yours.
Nobodys perfect baby,
Love has no definate laws
So why must we nitpick
through things we don't need.
Things that don't matter.
What feelings could that possibly feed.
Lonliness, sadness and anger it may seem.
So why break open a sore,
That could never possibly heal.
So why hurt the one you love.
Cuz isn't this what everyone feels
And it may seems that the latter is much more better than the former one, but sometimes, love doesnt have to be all happy and jolly.
Im not being biased, Im just foolish to think about myself, my future, my own happiness. I want someone to see me as I am. Not more, not less.
Labels: and it strike again.
Nothing new, and I still dont think I learnt from the pitfall I got myself into years ago.