you and i.

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 12:19 AM

an old picture.

Ive changed my medical appointment for today to next two weeks. So much for getting scared for it. Haha. But still am scared for it later mannnnsszzzz! Ok enough. Hehe.

Im having the time of the month right now, after so long not having it,due to my sickness I think. Haha. And I tend to eat like alooootttsssszzz! Like really. Ive been stuffing myself with junks, ice creams and just junks again. Grrrr! So much for wanting to lose these extra kilos. I want to become thin laaaaa. Ok, exaggerating, and its like so impossible,please. Haha.

On another note, I miss dolling up and getting all dressed up to go out. I miss wearing fake eye lashes. Yes,random. But really, I miss all those. But whatever! Haha.

And I think no way my parents are letting me off to overnight or whatsoever, cause of them knowing me club a few months back. Cause of that one pathetic moronic cousin of mine. If it wasnt because of him, my parents will at least not suspect anything. Now whenever I asked for a night out, they will sarcastically say, "You want go out with your friends or go clubbing and get drunk?" Wah piang, Ive got and will tolerate these you know. But I want to go out and have fuuuun,please. Stupid cousin. Erghhhh. Enough about it okay.

I am seriously dead broke, I post that in the earlier posts didnt I. I want moneyyyyy. And school's starting this Wednesday. Grrrr. Fasting month somemore. I hope I will fast as much as possible, unlike last year eh Leeeeee? Haha. Remember?

Ive been spending more time with Best Friend. He's sucha an ass to send me his singing videos, and kept asking me to watch him sing before I go to bed. And the girl he was dating with,he told me everything. We laughed and sweet talked to each other. Its funny you said, " Ive never wanted to enter your heart cause you're one nice girl. And Im lucky to have a best friend like you. Love you, bodo." Touching eh best Friend say like that oneeeee. Nyehahaha.

And I want to get a gaming device. Or a new handphone, Or new sexay glasses, Or get a wardrobe makeover. I dont knowwwwww. Ok bye, Im so fickle minded, I know okaaaaay. Haha.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 11:40 PM

Sometimes, how I wished I can stop the time from ticking away.
The day from changing to night.
The days,months and years change everytime I wake up, knowing Im still feeling this pain.
To have all the time in this world to just do everything that reminds me of the dreadful past.
It's much more than you know that is affecting my life.
Always seeing things around me to be much more better. And that even when Im gone, I bet people will even take notice.
Sometimes, I just wish I am a pious Muslim, and how I wished I die peacefully faster.
I now understand living in this world is sucha tiring thing to do. To please not myself actually, but the people around.
Am I really happy? Maybe for a moment, yes. But I just want the world to look at me and say good stuffs about me.
I never asked for much actually.
Just to be happy. To be loved by the people around.
They say nice and sweet things, but they are just for short term. After all that, they be gone. Like we are just strangers. Not even friends.
Life is cruel, no doubt.
Tried to be good, but people take good people and good things for granted.
Tried to be bad, but Im just disappointing my loved ones.
They say just be you. But what is you?
Sometimes when I am me, people dislike, they say I need to change.
And sometimes, when I change, they say I should be me.
Ive gone through quite alot within this seventeen years life of mine.
Those I loved,lust,wanted, needed and yearn.
I can only hope for the best now.
I never asked for much, but just to be happy.
But wait,
what makes me happy, really?
ps; i still cry listening to the songs you sang to me once. I realised Im still missing you.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 1:28 AM

ku tutup mataku

dari semua pandanganku

bila melihat matamu

kuyakin ada cinta

ketulusan hati

yang mengalir lembut

penguasa alam,

tolonglah pegangi aku

biarku tak jatuh

pada sumur dosa

yang terkutuk

dan menyesatkan cintaku

andai aku bisa

lebih adil

pada cinta

kau dan dia

aku bukan nabi

yang bisa sempurna

ku tak luput dari dosa

biarlah ku hidup

seperti ini

takdir cinta harus begini

ada kau dan dia

bukan ku yang mahu,

oh TUHAN,

tuntunlah hatiku

Saturday, August 23, 2008, 1:33 PM

They've made this so called group a while back. Called themselves Shuffle Industry. Yes, thay are all my parent's workers. And one of them, my cousin. Its funny, yet you know, good la, at least they have the positive spirit la kan. They even made tee shirts and made videos. You can go search for their videos over at YouTube.

Why must it be raining on a weekend? I want go outtttttt! Grrrr. Hopefully the rain will stop soon enough. And then prolly heading out to meet with Ajid. Movies later and most prolly be catching the fireworks. My holidays are booooring. Im not even enjoying it, infact Im stressing about my PP deadline. Ergh!
And hopefully, I'll be going for holiday this Hari Raya. Mama suggested Bangkok. I dont mind, anywhere. I want shooooop and shoooop and just a free time away from Singapore. So I just hope parents do make it happen. Cause I dont want to celebrate Hari Raya over at Singapore. I want go holidayyyyy! :D
Okay, its almost two, and I have yet to shower. Showering soon. Hehe. Have a great weekends, dearessssttsssss!

Friday, August 22, 2008, 10:21 PM

Guess who's baccccck? Ok lame. Yes, depeest apologies for the lack of updates. Ive been busy with work. And I find no time to update. I will always be back home past midnight, and shower and then to lala land already. Ive got my pay already, but it's all gone now. Yes, I revamped my hair. Haha. It costed much more than my pay. Grrrr. Now, I got no money at all! Yes, zero money. Im left with two dollars in my wallet. So pathetic, hor? Buuuut, I love my hair. Haha. Ive yet to actually adjust to the new hairstyle actually. I got scared when people look at me.

Actually, I like changes, bad or good, its just an experience and just enjoying it at the moment. I can just stick to the usual hairstyle, but I wanted something different and at least worth my money. Haha.

Work went well for me. Working, gossiping, and just looking at hot hot costumers. Eh Shieraaaa? Haha. Kau bully aku, kau buat jahat dengan aku, I will sadistically blog about youuuu and treat you like a maid over at work. Nyehahaha. You know I know la kaaaaan. :D

And lastly, I just hope this thing get well soon for me. The pain am feeling is unbearable. Its like everyday,the same process. Worst, medication have to be taken every single day. Shucccccks. Grrr.

Oh ya, I just watched Meet Dave over at Ehub with Hafidz. His treat, since he knows how badly broke I am. Haha. The show was hilarious. Verrrrry funnnny. I laughed at every single silly acts they made, even the littlest one till I find myslef be the only one who's laughing in the theatre, till Hafidz stared at me. Haha. I was jsut enjoying the show whaaaat. Bus-ed home after that, since he ride, and since I dont favour taking a bike, I declined his offer of sending me back home. Haha. Home sweet home already. And tomorrow, most prolly heading town or just walk around and spent time with another friend.

As for now, Im going to roll on my bed, and try to get some rest. Tata darlinggggs. :D

Monday, August 18, 2008, 6:00 PM

I wanted to change my blogskin and all from just now. But Ive realised its been eons since I last camwhore with my own self or with friends around. Yes, therefore, resulting in not continuing with the thought of changing my blogskin. Soon maybe when I have new pictures.

Instead, Ive did a lousy and a simple edit to my friendster page. Ive never been bothered about my friendster page, eversince this new one is created a few months ago. So I think I will just reconstruct this page of mine a little.

Off for today but working 3 days consecutively starting from tomorrow. And about my PP, im just disappointed. Im no looking for another company for the interview. Insyallah, I hope things go fine with it. Stay home for today. A rest day for me. Heading to the hospital later at night for some check up. Hopefully everything will be fine for me. Insyallah.

I will update some other time, dearies. And pssst, my blog is getting so borinnggggg kaaaaan. Hhaha. Due to my busy schedule, am sorry I couldnt update as regularly as before. :D

And Im sooo stuck with this song at the moment. Soooo sedaaaaap.

"I want you exclusive, there's no more excuses."

Friday, August 15, 2008, 10:50 PM

"in the end somehow, it always comes back to you."

Dont ask, but somehow, am still not over you just yet.

Maybe I just miss you.

Or jsut maybe I misses the attention and love.

Maybe its all jsut maybe.

Things have been all right these past few days. Im starting on my Professional Profiling already, thank God. But left with the interview later on, which will be sucha a drag. Ergh! Hopefully things will be done fast and efficiently.
Ive been having issues regarding very much important stuffs. Ive always believed this, " When two love birds are happily loving each other, theres always an individual who feel the pain." Be it in a positive or the negative way. I guess it is true. As for now let's just say I want to spent my time right now to enjoy every moment, seconds left for the both of us. Because after that, I guess we're just like any other strangers that we pass by everyday on the pavements.
I rather have sweet memories with you rather than just ending it all just like that.

Working tomorrow and Sunday. Erghhh. I want my pay soon can? I want to buy lotsssss of things you know! :D Off to bed for now darlings! Good nite.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 11:49 PM

Ive realised life is never easy. I used to remember that when I was little, maybe five or six, Ive always wanted to grow up fast and become an adult. Always talking to myself and act like a teacher. And now how I wished time pass by so slowly, and that I will forever remain to be sweet seventeen. Trying hard to get myself to be a perfectionist. From the exterior, to the interior, to excel in every little things. But I can only try. But at some point of time, it strikes me, they say never give up, practice makes perfect. But, we're only human. Ive got tons of flaws and sinful acts Ive done. Who would have thought I grow up to be this. Mom and Dad always wanted the best out of me. I appreciate their every doings trying to make me the best. But behind them, and if they actually know what Ive went through, what Im doing behind their backs, am sure they will pretty much be hurt. They never wanted me to end up this way. You see, parents, they always trying their best to get their child to be the best. I dont blame mine or these parents. They are just doing their job. Either they do it well, or the other way round. That's another reason why we live, and how scary it is to be in their place.

Now, what lies beneath this idiotic looking seventeen year old girl, Im jsut still a childish young kid inside me. I can be a princess at one moment, and a spoilt brat at the other. If only I can tell the world what Im going through.

When I thought the sun starts to shine on me back after these few months, it turned down on me yet again. Things never go my way. Well, I know life's isnt always fair. I just have to wait and try my very best to achieve at least something good. If God's Willing, yes. I just pray the best for the outcome.

Like I told you, how much we want to be together, we cant. If you tell me that like 5 years later, I be the most happiest girl on earth. But not now. You just have to be with someone else, I guess.

Tags Replies:
lee: saper tu yg cute, the gal with the bangs?
NUYUL: sape yang lagik ccute tuh kat sebelah? Nyehahaha.

shasha: thanks for the compliments babe! anyway bilang dgn mai, dia gile! budak gile. POP JGN LUPE. HAHA
NUYUL: hehe. welcome, babe! Yes, die gile!

Sarah: hello nuyul!thanks for ur compliment.hehe=)ur blogskin lawa larh!!so is the person.heheheh.tc,love.
NUYUL: hehe. awak lagik chantik hor !:D

Wahtee: oh, tell montel, happy birthday. and say i'll link her! Okay montel? oh, happy belated birthday too montel!!
Wahtee: Yul. mampos. Sungguh lamer tk jumpe kau. kalau tk keje, klua ngn kawan. tetek uh lu.
NUYUL: haha. alaaa sorry la sayang.

iLi: i was really shocked that you tagged me. hahaha! r u in school? i miss you la.
NUYUL: hahaha. yes la, i rarely tag your lousy tagboard whaaaat. haha. school? ape tuh? Nyehahaha.

On a brighter note, ITS ALREADY HOLIDAY LA BABYYYYYY! :D

Friday, August 08, 2008, 2:15 PM

Thank Godddddd Its Friday! :D

Butttt, am at school right now being the good girl over here. Good girl? Nyehaha. Its because Ive been absent from school and to jsut skip class just too much. So that explains why Im here in school.

Luckily Lee was there to save me from boredoom. So you can see the picture above, tonnnns of them. Next time we take lots lots of pictures okay,darlinggg? I smell and hear the holidays coming!! Oh cant wait. Working after school, tomorrow, double pay it is. and Sunday. Wah, rajin pe akuuuu! Haha. Ok, Im done with blogging for now. I want change my blogskin, but Im lazy to! Haha. Ok,done for now. Have a great weekend darlingggs.

Thursday, August 07, 2008, 4:07 PM

As you know Im not schooling and I am only going out at 5 later on. So while I was bored just now, I tend to do this girlfriend of mine her blog. So yea, here it is,

http://yoursexysinner.blogspot.com/

She is still new and sucha dumbo to this thing. Hahaha! So, do tag her and give her encouragement to blog. Mai,free advertisement kapeeeee.

I was actually rushing, so it has yet to be completed, just abit more adjustments, and I think it be fine. So, Mai, you are most welcome! :D

, 11:05 AM

Thursday, am supposed to go to school, but I was too lazy to drag myself up. I can, but then, the head was heavy at the other side, eventhough I know Im having my UT. But heck, who the hell cares, am over at home already.
My life? Been keeping myself busy with whatever came across this life of mine. Personal problems, every littlest problem that occurred, come and go in my life. School has been all right. A few more days till holidays. That something to be looking forward to for now. Work has also been good, tiring with no doubt, but that's life. Im the one who choose it this way. Im trying my best to avoid everything that's happening.

Ive never believed that mishap or any bad things happened to me, happened for a good reason, or they will say, the cliche, karma, what goes around comes around. But am only human, who have faults and flaws. All the bad things that happened to me, for now, I can just accept and try to change for the better, to avoid everything that has been happening. Im the kind who rather avoid than to overcome it. Yes, a coward some may call. But thats the only way for me to get over and not letting my attention only to that one particular thing.

I can proudly say, Im over the ex boyfriend, we broken up like more than a month ago. You were a jerk, definitely. Not compatible with me at all. Its like two different worlds combining to each other, definitely a no no. However, I have a foolish heart, it was really tough getting over you. Really it was. Having to know and going through all that,it wasnt easy. Am glad, Ive never heard from you future wife anymore about you guys. The last thing I heard was she saying that you're still the same man when I leave. So, I guess you cant change, for the better of your future family. But, whatever, that isnt my concerns anymore.

Family is fine over here. Mama and Dad always have the concern about me going home late. And especially now that Im working, they will always constantly remind me to be smart in juggling between work and school. Parents, what do you expect.

Apologies for not blogging as often. I will go back on track soon enough. :D

Am off to shower now and going out sooooon. :D

AND NOT FORGETTING, THIS DEAREST BLOGMATE OF MINE SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAYYYY. MONTEL DARLING, YOU DONT HAVE A TAGBOARD, SO I TAK BOLE TAG YOUUUUU.

BUTTTTT, HAPPY SEVENTEEN, MONTELLL! :D

HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS. TO BE HAPPY AROUND YOUR LOVED ONES. AND HAVE A BLASTING SEVENTEEN EVERRRRR! :D

Monday, August 04, 2008, 3:09 PM

Yes, lack of updates. Haha. Been working on the weekends. Work was all right and fine. A little mess here and there, but things are alryt. Yesterday parents came by workplace, and fetch me home. If only they can fetch me everyday. Buuuut, I rather they not. Haha.

School has been rather fine too. Been abiiiiit hardworking at school. Haha. Ive been busy, school, work, family and friends.

Even now Im blogging while Im eating. And I can really eat cause my tongue still hurts. But, pain is pleasure. Nyehahaha. Okay, this is just a random post, Im going to get ready for work. Update sooon! :D

Saturday, August 02, 2008, 12:00 PM

Yesterday, went over to Mai's crib after school. I went down to Tampines with Andi. And then proceed to meet the girls over at Mai's place. Headed to Bugis after all that. Plan was for them to shop, walked around and then had their dinner over at Tong Seng. After that, we sat at some place, and did some few stuffs, however I passed out. Not once, twice indeed. Once was over at the place where we sat, I was feeling nauseous, then I wanted to sit down, and then suddenly everything turned black, and the next thing I remembered was the girl waking me up and asking me to sit up. They said it lasted for a few seconds, but it feels like a night for me, like someone woke me up from sleep. Sat for a while so that I am able to walk and take the train back home.
In the train, it happened again. I swear I didnt know who I was holding or what happened. Luckily, theres a sit for me to rest my head. I guess people around were looking, and thought that I was drunk or something. But well, I dont know whats wrong. Haha. I shall thank my girls and Zul who were there to help me. Haha, really really. Even Mai forced me to take cab back home, afraid that I will passed out again. Thank youuuu girls. Maybe its because of I didnt had anything after breakfast, and my body was too weak and was in a shocked after what happened. Whatever, on a lighter note, I get it all done already! :D
Okayyyy, off to shower and work now! Update sooooon.